NYC Couture Fashion Week: Well, this is a bit awkward

By Vanessa Beatriz Soto

You guys believe me when I say I was PSYCHED for this. I worried over my outfits, I fretted over my hair, makeup, nails, everything. I was having a full on Devil Wears Prada moment in my head. I arrived two hours early. It was AWESOME. It blew my mind. Although perhaps not in the way I thought it would...

Okay so here's the story.

Background: NYC Fashion Week (regular flavor) is a semiannual whirlwind here in Manhattan. Designers, models, editors, stylists, makeup artists, wannabes, celebrities, minor royalty, all flock to town in February and September to show and show off. It's a tradition dating back to 1948, and it's all quite fancy and very stylish and probably great for the local economy, too. In addition, if you like something you see, you can nip right out to Barney's or whatever and pick it up. I must make a note to visit.

NYC Couture Fashion Week, despite any decadently romantic notions of tasteful avant-garde madness the words conjured up for me, turned out to be something of a different animal...

Set in the grand ballroom of New York City's famed Waldorf-Astoria hotel over three days this past weekend, the spectacle presented more than nine designers' couture fashion shows as well as an exhibition hall in the anteroom, which attracted artists, cosmetics companies, and a number of other exhibitors. The exhibition, I must note, included an, er, interesting art show by a puzzling fellow called Michael Cheval, whose portrait of Gina Lollabrigida I present to you here, without further comment. Enjoy your nightmares!

The featured designers, visiting from home bases as far-flung as Peru, Dubai, Nigeria and Egypt, showcased their creations on the runway inside the ballroom. The clothes on display reflected an perilously expensive-looking mix of made-to-order evening gowns, bridal and mother-of-the-bridal apparel, flashy club gear, kimonos, and furs, including designs for both men and women. If you want to buy these clothes, be prepared to nip out to Dubai on your private jet, though.

Let me try to break it down:

Overall, the impression was a cluttered one, due to a number of factors. For one thing, all the hair and makeup for all the shows was done by a single makeup team and a single hairdressing team, which may have led to a blurring of lines between each designer's signature style.

Makeup styling was provided by students from the Academy of Freelance Makeup, while "New Jersey's Premiere Hair Salon and Beauty Spa" Elie Esper did the hair. This is not quite in line with the 'regular' Fashion Week paradigm of household-name cosmetic brand stylists and hair gurus fighting to create unique looks for Mark and Miuccia. (Speaking of household names, there weren't any celebrities in attendance, so far as I could tell from my front-row seat.)

Next, it seems that the same loose group of models walked in each show. Again, a contrast with regular-flavor Fashion Weeks, where designers compete for the hottest supers and then cherry-pick unknown 'girls' from agencies the world over, so as to develop a truly unique signature look and feel for their presentations.

Another point of note here was that the models seemed to defy the classic 'runway model' type: reed-thin teenagers with impossibly weird or stunningly beautiful features. The models in Couture Fashion Week's shows were certainly of a more shapely ilk, more mature in their age range, and if my eyes - and photos - do not deceive me, some of these girls had invested in some SERIOUS breast implants, yo. Definitely not Catwalk Standard.

As for the clothes themselves, it's hard-ish to glean a really cut and dried set of 'trends' to report to you guys, given both the broad range in clothing types, and the resolutely not-regular-day-wear quality of the clothes themselves. For instance, I could tell you that next spring men will be sporting hipster warlock-like ensembles composed of gossamer scarves, shiny harem pants and open-throated shirts with lace panels, but... you would know that was totally whackadoodle, right? RIGHT?

For the ladies it's a bit easier. I will skip the silver-and-lucite chancletas because I cannot talk about that bit without weeping. If you're the kind of girl who likes to have her evening gowns made by hand in foreign lands, count on plenty of nude-colored illusion netting, lace, cutouts, electric-blue chiffon, loads of iridescent palettes, fur shrugs, plaid satin, giant round collars that stick up between 4-8 inches, bondage, more fur, and a boyfriend dressed as a hipster warlock. YES. WORK IT.

My very favorite part of the NYC Couture fashion week shows were the awesome and sometimes funny performances punctuating the runway spectacle. These included an all-girl cabaret show, an opera-singing model (she sang Sarah Brightman's "Time to Say Goodbye"), a violin-playing model, two preteens from Orange County California who performed acrobatics to a club-remixed pop track, a guy with a sax, a really neat dance troupe... Oh I don't know.

It was like Star Search. I loved Star Search!

And that pretty much sums up NYC Couture Fashion Week! Let us know what you think in the comments.

Tags blogger: Vanessa Beatriz Soto, couture, Fashion, Fashion Week, New York City